The Goodbye

I am not a good friend he told me and this time it was true....

I have a deep rooted passion for flying my plane, actually any plane, talking about planes, and most of all hanging out with my buds at the airport.

It's something my hubster digs. He says it's so cool that I love to be with him at the airport.....I am one of the lucky ones, a girl to boot- that fits in with the crew...what a crew we were.

You must have broad shoulders to be at our airport, be able to laugh easily, have equal ability flying and willing to learn and ask questions of the mechanics of flying...my buds love to share their knowledge...and well I found where I belong and love to learn.

This year brought a lesson to our airport that was not expected.  I am not accustomed to losing friends and this year I lost someone I held in my inner circle with high regard.  Life has a way of presenting trials to you when you least expect it and your expectations often have to adjust......something I have problems with and well frankly I didn't like about 2013.

Being forced to re-evaluate behaviors and actions of someone whom you thought you knew well is a hard task and can be gritty to the core...probably one of the hardest "life" lessons I have had to deal with.

The "crew" is no more and trying to move on with the realization that it is what it is and there is really no chance of turning back...is not something easy for me...truth - it's weird and sad at the same time for me to understand how we got here.

It's simple, I miss my 'once' good friend...forcing things are never good....I'm sorry this friendship had to end...a word we both agreed we would never say....I don't deal with drama well, I am not fond of elephants showing up at my hangar and I can't tap dance for the life of me.  I am and will always be one who shows all she is on her sleeve, a straight shooter and exceptionally strong willed and loyal to a fault.

I'm also slow in learning life lessons because I want what was, a weakness of mine...it takes me awhile to figure things out...this friendship really ended a year ago....when he was told to end our friendship because we were buds, I really can't understand this, but, that's my problem.....The end.

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school.  But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." Muhammad Ali

"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you.  Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted.  Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together.  Powerful Stuff." Jon Katz

EGO or RESPECT

I had a conversation with a friend I used to be close with some time ago and I said there are two things about pilots (forget the gender) one they have and the other one they want; What are they, I asked?

He knew the answer as I did and I said you name one and I will....and he said pilots have an EGO and I said they want RESPECT.

EGO- The self of any person as thinking, feeling, and willing and distinguishing itself from the selves of others...conceit; self-importance.

RESPECT - a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.

My friend Gene, whom I respect told me recently that "we pilots are a unique breed"...I agree.

Introspectively I have realized I can sometimes..ok truth, most times be goaded into having my ego pants show up...by falling into the need to prove myself to the boys.  I hate to admit this, but my hobby, flying, is mainly comprised of the other gender.  It does not surprise me that they bust on me and my flying capabilities.  I have a habit of being very playful and my personality is such that fair is fair.....I have this strange personality trait called confidence that drives them insane as I always say I am "even steven" with you guys and I mean it!!  It's a curse, a good one don't you think?

I have noticed that we do run the gamut of all different types of pilots..... Some with loud egos and others with quiet egos....and then there are the confident pilots...I prefer the latter..the pilot that has already proven him or herself and feels no need to share all of their accomplishments.

Those are the ones I respect, it is easy to when they quietly share flying stories with you and are not in the least boastful.  The graceful art of flying in itself is pure art and does not need to be boastful.

The older generation is quietly this way and I have noticed our generation isn't.  Something I don't like about my generation.  I will admit that, truth be told, I have at times fallen into "I need to prove myself" and yet I know I should step aside and let my abilities be the proof.

Flying is just what I think of as part of what I do, to be authentically who I am.  I fly because it’s the most difficult and most natural thing I’ve ever done in my life.  Unaware that just the suggestion by my hubby over twenty years ago, I found my way into this flying fever on my own and I realize this hobby has forced me to discover myself.

My fellow aviators will sometimes show me their whole heart, the only way they know how, through our common language of flying.  Some days just trying to express what we were trying to hold on to, holding our heart in our hands.  So afraid that the dream of flying could be dying that you might not even see that it is right in front of you.

The key is my friends, that flying is not just ours.  I know it’s so tempting to lock it up, and hold it captive in your hangars, and protect it because it’s so beautiful.  But the only way that it can survive is to share it, talk about it, and keep it alive, in its natural environment, in our hearts.  We can’t guard the dream, but we can be the caretakers of it.  We can raise up this universal spirit of freedom found in flying that we hold so dear, and know so intimately.  But first we have to embrace that we are a flying family, one collective heart stitched to one word…WE

I want to say that I chose this hobby, yet I must admit, it chose me....it forces me to be aligned to some really great people that I am friendly with and yet with only a few very close buds will I open up with and the passion for flying rolls off me..I literally eat it up, breath it out and hunger for it each day. Only my closest buds get me through and through...because they also have the fever that I have. My keepsake of our "brotherhood" of which I belong and am accepted.......it feels so natural.

There is a difference with having confidence or having an ego....do I present myself in the way I speak about above, not always...something I need to improve upon. 

So let me share with you what I crave.. "RESPECT" from my fellow aviators, period!....I believe while some of my buds will never admit this to me...I do have it.  How do I know this? In the way, they converse with me about anything flying, how they will fly with me, that's trust and respect in itself...those that are part of my circle realize and see the firelight that I have, flying is what draws us together, our like minds and it doesn't hurt that I am a good "stick"...shucks, there is that confidence again....;-)

I've always believed the lure of flying is the lure of beauty. - Amelia Earhart













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