67 DAYS

Not that I want to rush my life ahead, yet I do this every year around this time.. I countdown to SPRING , longer days, warmer weather, and more time at the airport.

Yet I must admit winter does have beauty my eyes have seen, snow drifting down from our heavens to paint our drab colors of the resting of natures brown colored ground into a spectacle of awe.

This year we are fortunate that a few of the planes based here have skis and we have such a group here, that will say what's mine is yours. Flying with skis is a challenge and flying above a fresh white snow is peaceful..we are lucky to have a great airport gang that will brace the cold to help tame the winter weather to share in flying on skis.

While we also spend allot of time in the airport lounge this time of year being lounge lizards, we have a 1000 piece puzzle we are putting together, hot cocoa, and our friends always stop by knowing we will be there. Hangar talk is always rampant, as it seems the winter engages the imagination more so among us pilots. I mean just yesterday my bud told me his Chief files as high as 40,000 feet... Really??..☺

My Girly Plane goes in for annual soon, and that in itself is something I look forward. My mechanic and me tear her down and I always insist on doing most of the work. This helps me understand the mechanics and gives me more knowledge, you can never have too much.  Afterwards,I will be assured that she will be ready to embark on all the adventures I have planned come spring time.

So go visit your airport , pull your plane out if you can (some are grounded due to weather)...try something new such as flying on skis, or simply catch up with your fellow pilots and tell stories over a beer if you can't fly.

The camaraderie itself should be enjoyed..nurturing of friendships is the very root of life.

Happy flying and countdown with me!!

1. Taking off on skis, 2. My bud landing his Chief on skis, 3. My friend Gene (89) after having landed his J2, 4. Our grass strip downwind, 5. Our winter digs, lounge where we are lounge lizards.

It's A Guys World Here

I came on the scene twenty some years ago.....because my hubby wanted to share his passion of flying with me.  That is how I came to find the place I belong, aviatrix, bud, devilish trouble maker, instigator of fun and the entertainment keeper of our barn aka hangar at Bermudian Valley Airpark.

He encouraged me to learn to fly, knowing I would eat it up before I even knew...How did he know I would? Because he said you like challenges and it's fun, hun...hey that rhymes...

It's a guy's world at our airport...I changed the stereotype of our home base, the first woman and only woman that wanted to be by my hubby's side and he still loves having me by his side...at least I'm sticking with that ha! I say that as we are unique in our almost 30 year marriage of being best friends and we share and have the same passion, flying ..I am one of the "guys".  That is what I like the best...no one cuts me any slack and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The first few years and first 300 hundred hours of flying or so - I was mostly skeered to death....I would stare at the wind sock and if it was just blowing the least bit I would say "maybe tomorrow", you see the wind was a challenge to me...I would see my buds flying and it would bother me as I wanted to be flying with them.  So, little by little I would move the line of comfort a bit and while I would grip the yoke of our Aeronca Chief in a death grip I would force myself to fly. If you could imagine this, surrounded with guys (my friends mind you) and they would egg me on....and well I had to be their equal, I wanted this as the raw beauty of our world from above was mine to snag....peer pressure at its finest not meant to be mean, just how it rolls at our home base.

We decided in 2003 it was time to think about buying a plane with electric start for me.....and behold my partner in crime ~ named "Girly Plane" by my buds a 7GCAA 150 hp Citabria.  She was brought home to join our family and once again I had another goal to learn how to fly my new plane........and the ante was raised as my buds would raze me about it's ability and yet I was still timid and a newby pilot with a cool plane.

I stumbled with Girly Plane, it was faster than my 65 hp Chief and the first few years were a challenge but, I wanted this! Then one day it just clicked. I was a pilot, I felt as if we were one, she held me carefully and let me test my self imposed limits, I busted through and rose above in the air to meet the joy which was unseen, yet I tasted it. I belonged here, my free fall into freedom...I could fly.

I would love to go to the airport and practice, practice, practice....my hubby would always say to me, you probably have the most landings of anyone I know.  I wanted to be good, I needed to prove to myself I had the ability to be a good pilot....when the bar is raised you need to rise and meet it.

Our barn is where I find arms that wrap around me and instill in my deepest part a peace that sometimes is hard to describe, although I feel it deep and my breath is shallow while my eyes take in the view that I never tire of seeing.

It's a guys world at our airport ...AND I'm okay with that....I like hanging with guys, we raze each other and in fact my hubster is one of the worst....but, I dig it...I have my own strong willed confidence and it can't be shattered. It's a struggle for some of the guys...I am even steven and when they throw out a challenge, well I'm IN.....I love to smack them down...yes I admit I have an ego and well, it works here....no tiny tears baby girl, just forge ahead to who you are...be true to yourself and ride the wave. Those that tag along snag your enthusiasm and those that fear it run...stay true..be you.

Why do i like to fly?....it is the freedom thing of getting in the air and being free to do what i want with my plane...I do as I please and it's a confidence builder, although those that know me well, say I have too much confidence, it's not something I really understand, what is too much confidence??? It's simple, I am ME.

The view, my gawd the view out of the window is spectacular at all times and no matter what the weather, it never ceases to amaze me what I am seeing...how lucky I am.  It is exciting on each flight and to be able to share this excitement with a chosen few is a favorite part of my life...my hubby and my close buds... I don't have many I let into my inner circle who understand my flying "language" the GAGA I bestow upon those that will listen, it's a special place I harbor my deepest feelings as being held by the air is understood by only others of like sickness.

I am most comfortable with flying...I feel comfortable with the people, airplanes and well our "barn"  is home to me...I relax the most when I am at the barn, but more so when I am in the sky where I forget the everyday issues and wander the sky where I feel most at ease in the raw beauty gifted for me to see.

While this flying world might be dominated by men....its a mans place here and I belong here, fit in here and I am home here...and the best compliment is when I hear them say...she is one of the "boys" and it doesn't hurt when I hear in the confines of this mans world, by my close buds, a good stick....respect.

It is for me I float above, it is for me that I want to share this amazing flying art, it is for me that I strive to explore, it is because of him that I found home and he happens to be setting beside me....how lucky I am.


I have lifted my plane...for perhaps a thousand flights and I have never felt her wheels glide from the Earth into the air without knowing the uncertainty and the exhilaration of first-born adventure.
Beryl Markham

Special Day - A Keeper

If you just opened this, please read it and "LIKE" as I was late to the Ladies Love Taildraggers contest and need votes...as you roll your eyes..c'mon!!!  I'm desperate...;-)

My story is about the people that are part of my life journey relating to flying.  I have so many memories that lay embedded inside me and like a photo album only I can see the visions that I have created and only I can picture these slots of memories the way, I remember them...I want to share this special day with you.

This year, it came upon me fast, my vacation over Thanksgiving 2013.  For for some reason this time I wanted to have company.  Most of my vacations are me and girly plane flying solo, yet I found myself in a funk this time....being at the airport just wasn't the same lately.  I knew it would be best if I could spend sometime with my buds as our time together always encompasses laughing, busting on each other, and appreciating the wondrous act of flying. They get my extreme passion, call it an addiction and they understand my excitement for flying, it's who I am;  My longing to be at our hangar no matter what the weather throws down, this place always seems to wrap her arms around me and I instantly feel at home.

This trip was all Gene's idea. Gene happens to be my oldest friend, 88 years old, a force of nature who is tough, has great life experiences, great stories and whom I love spending time with. He mentioned he wanted to visit Anne Fichere who lives at Kentmore Island Airport a small grass strip located near Bay Bridge airport and in his great fashion to sway me, he said Anne mentioned me and said she was hoping I might visit again...Gene is smooth tugging on my weakness.."flying" and it took me all of 30 seconds to say "I'd love to take you". Our pact made we agreed on an early departure from our home base at 07N Bermudian Valley Airpark.

Gene is not as nimble as you and I might be and after a bit of me pushing on his ummm... rump, yes I said rump, contouring his legs around the stick we were set on this cold yet severe clear morning to take to the sky. Headset - check, stick clearance - Gene " hey - you're hitting my belly, easy" - kinda check LOL...well suck it in Gene. Yes, I actually said that, and he laughed his great laugh. Lastly, Gene asked for my map, he likes to follow along, so I handed it over and plugged in my tablet with the flight plan and Gene yelled out the time and we took off over a truly amazing morning where just a  slight mist was still laying low over the ground.

Flying with Gene is a good time for me to be reflective, focus on the course, check the amazing beautiful sky, as we are comfortable in our silence, that's how our friendship seems to flow. Gene, yells out - we've been up 42 minutes, "what's our ground speed"? 81mph Gene, winds are out of the East, as soon as we get around Aberdeen we will gain airspeed, and we sure did, up to 115 mph.. and we were on track to be on time for our lunch date.

We decided to try to find a few grass steps along the way, Gene has diabetes and his legs bother him quite a bit, this helped him/us to pass the time..Gene would shout out a few markers to look for and we actually found quite a few... must be my lucky passenger.

We landed and taxied right up to Anne's house... sweet Anne...I was introduced to Anne two years ago when her husband Joe a spry 92 years old had just completed Anne Morrow Lindbergh's 1929 Bird and Gene was helping to certify the Bird at the time, he had asked me to fly him down so he could help Joe with the paperwork.....sure I said, twist my arm.....make me fly you.

I can remember vividly how they were so excited to show us the Bird the first time.  Joe insisted I sit in Anne Lindbergh's seat..oh I don't know?...his eyes lite up and the joy of seeing him share his love affair of restoring her over the last 10 years, was captivating and I was truly spellbound.... I mean how unbelievably cool to have a love affair and be able to share his story with us and eventually he would fly her. I was most happy that he was able to complete what he had dreamt about for years before he was called to the heavens in early February.....I can still see him smiling with a twinkle in his eye and telling me again to climb up and sit in her seat...as I slid down into her seat, I could not get over that this Bird was one of the most beautiful artistic planes I have ever seen...a real genuine piece of history.

Anne Lindbergh and her most telling remark was to believe "if you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly in those moments". 

It was whispered that perhaps the Bird was heading to a museum this past summer and Gene mentioned he thought Anne would love a visit, so I called Anne and asked if I could bring a few buds to see her...a resounding YES, please come visit!! In my fashion of always organizing our "boys" flying trips,  I rounded up the troops and it is one of my favorite memories that I treasure, for various personal reasons.

Anne told me that she was planning on being in the Bird when it arrived in Blakesburg.  The plan was for her to hop in the front seat in Ohio and fly the last leg to Blakesburg with the pilot..,. I said you have tooooooo!!!!  she laughed, I suppose I do, don't I?

The Bird took off from Kentmore for the journey to Blakesburg this year and upon reaching Ohio, it ground looped upon landing, thankfully no one was hurt, but the Bird was damaged... and now she is sitting in a hangar...a project that once again needs to be repaired.

So why are we here today, you might ask? To visit sweet ( just turned 84) Anne and hear the real story about her Bird... We drove to the marina for lunch, Gene and I had our hunger focused on oysters and Anne shared the story on the Bird.  Here I was with two people in their 80's listening quietly to stories of days gone by and memories of their own spilling forward and I am reminded that they were young once with dreams, goals of their own....making me realize that I had this very moment to live and I shouldn't waste a minute.  This journey for each of us is a one way trip on the train of life and we should live it fully...we each have our own dreams and no one should have to give up anything to forsake their own journey.

When we sit down for lunch, I let our guest order first... she says "I'd really like to have a glass of wine", but it's only 11:30am.. my response - go for it! I love the way Anne thinks !!

As we head back to Anne's house I notice a table with all kinds of goodies.... Anne - I think I need to come back for some of these homemade treats....she insists on bagging up them up and I promised to stay in touch and visit again.

Now it's time to venture back home our bellies full and I tell Gene of my plan to fly up over the Bay Bridge, over Martin State directly home bound, and truth is he wasn't too keen on that idea.... That is allot of water he said...AND you know all the engine noises we hear over water...gheez Gene!?!....he had to say that didn't he...... I remembered the first time I went home this way by someone else's suggestion... I was nervous, although I would never admit that to him... now it was easy peazy...I told Gene it will be fine. We could almost see China flying home and it didn't hurt we had a tail wind all the way home....ahhh home base, doesn't that sound cool rolling off your tongue, when you see out in the distance the tree marks which surround the grass field that house's my serenity, my barn, my joy where my heart belongs.

This past weekend Gene delivered a thank you note from Anne, along with an invite to return to Kentmore to see her.. it is something I will definitely plan on this Summer...c'mon Summer I have plans..

I am in awe of many things....Yet the deepest part of my soul is most satisfied sitting above our world in quiet splendor flying.

Pictures:  1. Delaware Canal  2.  Bay Bridge  3. Inner Harbor, Md  4.  North of Inner Harbor, Md   5. My favorite picture - me and Joe and his Byrd

The Goodbye

I am not a good friend he told me and this time it was true....

I have a deep rooted passion for flying my plane, actually any plane, talking about planes, and most of all hanging out with my buds at the airport.

It's something my hubster digs. He says it's so cool that I love to be with him at the airport.....I am one of the lucky ones, a girl to boot- that fits in with the crew...what a crew we were.

You must have broad shoulders to be at our airport, be able to laugh easily, have equal ability flying and willing to learn and ask questions of the mechanics of flying...my buds love to share their knowledge...and well I found where I belong and love to learn.

This year brought a lesson to our airport that was not expected.  I am not accustomed to losing friends and this year I lost someone I held in my inner circle with high regard.  Life has a way of presenting trials to you when you least expect it and your expectations often have to adjust......something I have problems with and well frankly I didn't like about 2013.

Being forced to re-evaluate behaviors and actions of someone whom you thought you knew well is a hard task and can be gritty to the core...probably one of the hardest "life" lessons I have had to deal with.

The "crew" is no more and trying to move on with the realization that it is what it is and there is really no chance of turning back...is not something easy for me...truth - it's weird and sad at the same time for me to understand how we got here.

It's simple, I miss my 'once' good friend...forcing things are never good....I'm sorry this friendship had to end...a word we both agreed we would never say....I don't deal with drama well, I am not fond of elephants showing up at my hangar and I can't tap dance for the life of me.  I am and will always be one who shows all she is on her sleeve, a straight shooter and exceptionally strong willed and loyal to a fault.

I'm also slow in learning life lessons because I want what was, a weakness of mine...it takes me awhile to figure things out...this friendship really ended a year ago....when he was told to end our friendship because we were buds, I really can't understand this, but, that's my problem.....The end.

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school.  But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." Muhammad Ali

"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you.  Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted.  Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together.  Powerful Stuff." Jon Katz

EGO or RESPECT

I had a conversation with a friend I used to be close with some time ago and I said there are two things about pilots (forget the gender) one they have and the other one they want; What are they, I asked?

He knew the answer as I did and I said you name one and I will....and he said pilots have an EGO and I said they want RESPECT.

EGO- The self of any person as thinking, feeling, and willing and distinguishing itself from the selves of others...conceit; self-importance.

RESPECT - a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.

My friend Gene, whom I respect told me recently that "we pilots are a unique breed"...I agree.

Introspectively I have realized I can sometimes..ok truth, most times be goaded into having my ego pants show up...by falling into the need to prove myself to the boys.  I hate to admit this, but my hobby, flying, is mainly comprised of the other gender.  It does not surprise me that they bust on me and my flying capabilities.  I have a habit of being very playful and my personality is such that fair is fair.....I have this strange personality trait called confidence that drives them insane as I always say I am "even steven" with you guys and I mean it!!  It's a curse, a good one don't you think?

I have noticed that we do run the gamut of all different types of pilots..... Some with loud egos and others with quiet egos....and then there are the confident pilots...I prefer the latter..the pilot that has already proven him or herself and feels no need to share all of their accomplishments.

Those are the ones I respect, it is easy to when they quietly share flying stories with you and are not in the least boastful.  The graceful art of flying in itself is pure art and does not need to be boastful.

The older generation is quietly this way and I have noticed our generation isn't.  Something I don't like about my generation.  I will admit that, truth be told, I have at times fallen into "I need to prove myself" and yet I know I should step aside and let my abilities be the proof.

Flying is just what I think of as part of what I do, to be authentically who I am.  I fly because it’s the most difficult and most natural thing I’ve ever done in my life.  Unaware that just the suggestion by my hubby over twenty years ago, I found my way into this flying fever on my own and I realize this hobby has forced me to discover myself.

My fellow aviators will sometimes show me their whole heart, the only way they know how, through our common language of flying.  Some days just trying to express what we were trying to hold on to, holding our heart in our hands.  So afraid that the dream of flying could be dying that you might not even see that it is right in front of you.

The key is my friends, that flying is not just ours.  I know it’s so tempting to lock it up, and hold it captive in your hangars, and protect it because it’s so beautiful.  But the only way that it can survive is to share it, talk about it, and keep it alive, in its natural environment, in our hearts.  We can’t guard the dream, but we can be the caretakers of it.  We can raise up this universal spirit of freedom found in flying that we hold so dear, and know so intimately.  But first we have to embrace that we are a flying family, one collective heart stitched to one word…WE

I want to say that I chose this hobby, yet I must admit, it chose me....it forces me to be aligned to some really great people that I am friendly with and yet with only a few very close buds will I open up with and the passion for flying rolls off me..I literally eat it up, breath it out and hunger for it each day. Only my closest buds get me through and through...because they also have the fever that I have. My keepsake of our "brotherhood" of which I belong and am accepted.......it feels so natural.

There is a difference with having confidence or having an ego....do I present myself in the way I speak about above, not always...something I need to improve upon. 

So let me share with you what I crave.. "RESPECT" from my fellow aviators, period!....I believe while some of my buds will never admit this to me...I do have it.  How do I know this? In the way, they converse with me about anything flying, how they will fly with me, that's trust and respect in itself...those that are part of my circle realize and see the firelight that I have, flying is what draws us together, our like minds and it doesn't hurt that I am a good "stick"...shucks, there is that confidence again....;-)

I've always believed the lure of flying is the lure of beauty. - Amelia Earhart













..

I

The Barn - Deep Rooted

The question that my buds always ask of me..

Why are you always here?  Because I belong here.

Why do you belong here?

Because it is where my heart is.
 
It seems so simple to me this humble little spot that has captured my heart. Our home base, located in Kralltown, PA is located in a small farming community and houses our barn -  (aka hangar). To the average eye, it might appear to be a drab metal building located on a grass airstrip, surrounded by corn fields and look quite plain to a stranger, yet she wraps her hands around me the minute I arrive and when I breath in I am immediately home. 


It may seem a bit strange to some, perhaps not with the aviators I know. I have this longing I wear around my neck to always want to be near Girly Plane and the airport.  The sense of comfort and belonging in this place completes the puzzle that I am.  This "barn" houses our heart with a wide spread longing which is deeply rooted as a place to walk in, hang out, and tell stories.  We are a family of sorts, some are closer than others and I treasure what we have created in our "barn". 

This passion for flying has taken over my being and is something that drives my spirit with purpose.  I feel it in the flow of my veins and upon waking and knowing I am heading to the airport I am instantly on fire with energy, enthusiasm and zest for the ability to be able to be a bird.

This week I was able to fly for breakfast with a good bud and it was the most magical, spectacular day when we embarked south.  Peaceful and serene from the view above which is like no picture your eyes might ever see.   We were only a party of "one", and as my bud says a gaggle or party of a few planes is always so cool to see depicted in the sky, don't you agree? The more buds flying equals great stories and laughter.

When we returned home to our "barn" I set in my chair to enjoy the quiet and look at MY tree.....yes, I have a tree that I watch closely throughout all of the season changes for hours and hours.  It has been a staple view in my mind, this tree, reminds me that time really does seem to click away on the calendar of life.  On this day, I watch leaves slip away to land on the ground and I am reminded that another season is on it's way where the days are shorter, colder and already I am longing for the warmth of longer days and the summer.

Have you ever just sat and enjoyed the quiet in a special place?

I wish you could feel the passion I have for this place, perhaps you might understand a bit of it through my eyes, at least that is my hope when I share my thoughts. I love so much about the aviation community.. No, we don't all know each other; may have never met or live in the same community, but we are a community of like minds. When are paths do cross we are always able to bond easily and converse. 

This spot houses my heart of feelings of flight that cannot be measured by any ruler....if you could sit a spell I would be able to show you the beauty I speak of, the quiet rustle of the dried corn stalks and whoosh of the trees are what I focus on today while watching the hawks soar over the trees and it is the pure beauty of flight which fills my heart as if it might burst.

It is during the quiet of the night slipping away and I know it is time to leave, yet my feet are rooted to the ground just gazing at the sky...my peaceful barn where my heart belongs, it is the deepest part of my heart that only can be felt by me and it really is the purest meaning of truth.

This humble little spot in the country gives me peace and happiness, always has, always will. My hope for you is for you to have a quiet, special place of your own.

I leave you with a favorite quote of mine:

Pilots are a rare kind of human. They leave the ordinary surface of the world, to purify their soul in the sky and they come down to earth, only after receiving the communion of the infinite - Jose Maria Velasco Ibarra, President of Ecuador

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A BIRD- THE BEGINNING

Even though I look up daily to the heavens and pine for the sky and her calming embrace...somedays your feet need to stay on the ground.

This past weekend was such that we knew we would not be able to fly and yet we made our trek to our hangar at Bermudian Valley Airpark.  We are based at a small grass strip and the rain gods decided to camp out over central PA for quite a few days which left the field knee deep in water.

If you are taking the time to read this you should know from my prior posts that I hunger, dream and simply have a need to be a bird.  It's not such a bad thing if you too have the same affliction, as a matter of fact you might understand my words best.

I am fortunate to be able to fly my Citabria which I call "Girly Plane" most weekends, and then some. This past weekend I reflected on how this happened, how my affliction started while sitting at our hangar, affectionately named the 'barn' by our granddaughter Sammers..

It was him, his challenge to take a lesson that made me jump into our Aeronca Chief with our instructor over 20 years ago. Him being my hubster - Barry who had just received his pilots license and I asked him one day "what is all of this fuss about flying"? It is his fault that I need to a bird!!  It is only him that knows....when I land I can look at him and say nothing and he will say "I know, it was cool, right?"...and I simply nod my head.

It didn't come easy to me, understanding the nuances of flight, tail wheel flying, the E6-B, and the equations schamtions...yet when I sat in her and we floated off the ground I was mesmerized, and spell bound by the sheer beauty of our world from above and scared to death at the same time.  Really!

The day I soloed was amazing, my instructor Steve told my hubster that he was cutting me loose and I will never forget the view from the plane when my instructor jumped out and Barry was running down the taxiway after me waving.....I had finally made the leap and I was grinning from ear to ear....I was finally a bird by myself....just remembering it is a WOW for me...as I'm sure it was for you.

So, for the next year we would trek to the airport while I took my lessons and hubster would come with me and afterwards we would discuss the lesson and I would ask a bazillion questions.  I practiced and practiced because I wanted to be good at this thing called "flight" as any pilot does.

The day of my "check-ride" was unnerving and stressful, take a moment here to capture your memory of your day...we all have that ingrained to never leave our mind.  I always over study, especially for this exam and I can remember asking the examiner on downwind "did I pass" and do you know what he said.....depends if you do one more good landing?? funny AND yes I passed. The day I became a pilot the real lessons began as I was a newbie, cautious and quite scared if there was the slightest wind and worried to death I might get lost.  Here I was, I had a plane and could simply take off to soar around the hills and I stayed in the box around our base airport for the first 250 hours or so.  Then one day, it happened....it clicked, I relaxed and enjoyed just being a bird.

I went onto get my commercial ticket in Girly Plane about 9 years ago and that was so much fun, the drills, precision in depth awareness and focus of knowing your plane and being one...yes I said being one with a plane.....c'mon you know can relate.

Fast forward to the here and now, after many hours of practicing learning and actually thinking now that, hey I actually am an aviatrix...it really is an amazing feeling that I can't quite articulate the emotions of how flying and soaring above settles me, makes me focus on the act itself and I can simple be.  I am fortunate that my hubster and I enjoy the same love of flight along with a few buds, we have made a "home" at the barn, where we prefer to be rather than our "real" home....weird you might say, but, I/WE are SO okay with it.

The most powerful emotion is when you can break people wide-open when you fly with them and they glow.  You can see their face, the broken words of them trying to describe how amazing it is to them.  Where they forget about what is down there and they have escaped to nirvana...this is what I love sharing the most, a pilots nirvana.

The measure of living your life courageously, deeply, artfully, is embracing the fact that each minute, each second should be lived and we should all find our "nirvana" that hits you at the core of the deepest of your soul. 

Wow - I kinda went off the deep end.....it's real and it felt good, it's how I feel.

I leave you with a quote that conjures up what my heart feels;

I have lifted my plane...for perhaps a thousand flights and I have never felt her wheels glide from the Earth into the air without knowing the uncertainty and the exhilaration of first-born adventure.
-Beryl Markham